Gaining independence and increasingly doing more without parents and teachers is an important and natural part of growing up. It is a goal that we share together as parents and educators. By the age of 18, we need our children to be able to live independently of us, able to negotiate the world, solve problems and make good decisions. Independence is a continuum and we need to consciously identify what we can hand over to our children to complete for themselves. We need to give them the skills and strategies first, then hand it over.

But what do we hand over and by what age?

Self help skills. Our children need to dress themselves, remove items of clothing and carry their own school bag into school.

Chores and family responsibilities. Very young children can put away their toys, carry dirty clothes to the laundry and put their own rubbish in the bin. For a guide to age appropriate household tasks see this link: Kids Chores List by Age: The Ultimate List of Age-Appropriate Chores (childdevelopmentinfo.com)

Don’t fight their battles. We need to give our children the skills to solve their own social problems. Talk through to help them identify the issue, think of possible solutions and then choose an appropriate action. If your child comes home with a social problem at school empower them to talk to their classroom teacher. Don’t do it for them.

Children who have the opportunity to grow independence learn that the world is within their control. Learning and striving for excellence is within their control. Reaching for their potential is within their control. And isn’t this all that we want?

Kristen Smith – Assistant Principal – Primary (Kalkallo)