Resilience at Kalkallo
How many times in life do things not go as planned? In fact, how many times a day do thing not go as planned? Dealing with disappointments, changes to plans and unexpected events is a life long skill that begins very early in life. As teachers and parents we can teach these skills to our children both explicitly and by example.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back after a set back. For children, it is the ability to cope with the ups and downs of childhood – for example not being first in line, not having their ideas acknowledged in the playground or being on the losing team in a Physical Education class. Building skills in childhood, helps to prepare our children for coping with stressors in later life. So how do we build the necessary skills?
Working in partnership we can build these skills together. Beyond Blue (www.beyondblue.org.au)list outlines the following elements as being important for building resilience:
- Good relationships with others including adults.
- Independence.
- Identifying, expressing and managing emotions.
- Building confidence by taking personal challenges.
These need to be consciously taught throughout childhood. At school we have a variety of strategies in place to promote these, but how do we deal with the moment of disappointment? There is probably not a great deal of difference in how we do this as adults or children.
Firstly we listen and validate the feelings. As adults it is often out first impulse to fix things for our children. Rather we need to express our support for how our children want to handle the situation.
Secondly, we can provide perspective. Understanding the difference between a big and small problem can help a child to moderate their reaction to the situation. Understanding that others may see the problem in a different light will also lead to the development of empathy.
Thirdly we need to give our children a sense of control over their life and the disappointments encountered.
Resilience builds everyday as our students learn to navigate through life.